Training & Education

NEW EMM TRAINING IN NEW YORK CITY!!

2012 Dates: September 22 & 23, November 3 & 4, December 1 & 2

2013 Dates: February 2 & 3, April 6 & 7

Exceptional Marriage Mentor Training
Course Description

Level One

An intensive and experiential training program for therapists and practitioners.

professionals Exceptional Marriage Mentoring (EMM) grew out of an imperative to find a new way of working with couples that did more than “save marriages.” Not satisfied with the results many of our clients had experienced in previous couples therapy, we took on the task of integrating the body-based work we had been trained in, as well as other approaches that have helped us deepen our own 30 year connection along the way.

Rarely does couple’s therapy pay attention to the role the body plays in how partners interact. The desire for intimacy breeds strong emotional responses. These responses are housed in the physical and neurological biology of each partner. While many couples are content to develop functional and secure modes of interacting, in EMM we offer a broader possibility for those relationships that yearn for more. We work with the entire range of human emotions, all of which serve a vital purpose in helping us to develop our full capacity.

Our EMM model takes couples from the self-protective feeling states to the expansive, self-potentiating emotions that allow each partner to become more fully human. The EMM model invites, in a very structured way, full expression of the passionate self, which includes anger, laughter, need and longing, fear, sexuality, grief, remorse, empathy, gratitude, compassion and love.

In this six week training you will learn:

A New Paradigm of Couple’s Therapy

You will be introduced to The Exceptional Marriage approach to working with committed relationships. We will address the key components of an “Embodied” system of couple’s therapy. Topics covered will include: The theories that inform the EM model ( Core Energetics, attachment theory, transpersonal theory, Internal Family Systems, the work of David Schnarch and others), four levels of interactive consciousness (reactive, reflective, mindful, and embodied), and four types of intervention (presencing, leading by following, bridging, and catalyzing).

Energy & Emotions

Here we will identify the four developmental stages of a long term committed relationship (Eros Stage, Control Stage, Transition Stage, Exceptional Marriage). In particular we will focus on the problems that most couples create as they move beyond eros. You will be introduced to major concepts such as; primary restorative feelings, childhood and mature needs, control patterns, the principle of “No first cause”, the shared energy field, the 80%/20% principle, and conflict engagement. You will learn about connecting the emotional realities in the therapy room with the couple’s histories. You will also begin to learn how your energy affects what is happening between the couple.

Full Self Expression

In this module you will learn about the full self-expression process. This is a template for working with emotions from the most defended to the most vulnerable. You will learn about full self-expression as a guide for helping you to identify where partner’s get blocked in their emotional expression. We will pay particular attention to working with blame and control patterns to open space for movement into primary feelings and toward a connection to deep love. We will also address the role of spirituality in an evolving relationship. We will also begin to explore the role of the autonomic nervous system and how the movement between sympathetic and parasympathetic states affects the couple’s interactions. Finally, we will look at how arousal has two components – a response to threat and an opening to the ecstatic.

Levels of Intervention

Here you will learn how to incorporate the four levels of intervention mentioned above. We will explore how to help couples break free of reactive cycles using the skill of “presencing”. We will apply the intervention of “leading by following” by demonstrating how to use what is happening in the moment to open new doors of awareness for each partner. We will pay particular attention to “catalyzing” as a unique form of intervention that supports and challenges couples to take risks to open up to each other in ways where they will both heal and grow. Finally, we will guide you in learning how to help the couple “bridge” present experiences with historical antecedents.

Sexuality

In this module we will focus entirely on sexuality in the long term committed relationship and on how to work with the sexual dynamics couples are experiencing. You will learn about what constitutes exceptional sex (as differentiated from great sex). We will also explore the masculine & feminine archetypes and how sex can help partners to claim parts of themselves that have been suppressed or denied. We will be working with, inhibited sexual desire, passive and aggressive sexual control patterns, the role of aggression in sexuality, addictions and internet use, and sexual wounding. We pay special attention here to same sex relationships and how sexuality exists beyond gender specific roles.

Techniques, Practice Sessions, and Next Steps for Therapists

In the final module we will work with you to address your unique capacities as a couple’s therapist. We will review and expand on critical techniques for intervening with couples and role play common presenting problems in relationship work. Finally, we will spend time identifying next steps in bringing the Exceptional Marriage Mentoring approach into your practice.

Prerequisites:

Counseling degree or training in body-based psychotherapy (Core Energetics, Bioenergetics, Hakomi)
If coming as a couple at least one partner needs the above required training.
Interview with our faculty
Requirements:
Completion of all six weekends
Five supervision sessions with an approved mentor
Peer supervision – to be arranged
If you are part of a couple taking the training, five mentoring sessions with an approved mentor

For an interview contact Brian @ 914 420 2546 or Marcia @ 914 420 2699

To work with couples on this path is a sacred task. The Exceptional Marriage Mentor Training is an opportunity for you as a therapist to learn how to access the shared energy of each couple to support them in not only healing the past, but in becoming more fully alive, sensual, creative and unconditionally loving. Imagine helping committed couples to feel more power, laugh more fully, desire each other more intensely, see each other in truth, have greater compassion for the other’s struggles, cry in one another’s arms, delight in each other’s successes, engage in vibrant and constructive conflict, and bring their highest selves to the relationship and the world. Beyond therapy, this training will open new doors to your practice as you bring into your work a new paradigm of helping couples.